DON'T QUIT TOO SOON!

As we welcome February, I’ve been thinking a lot about automatic daily habits and how they influence the results we want.  An automatic habit is a behavior you do with more ease than resistance, those things you do on autopilot and without much thinking.  I just read a new study on developing habits.  Did you know that it can take anywhere from 18-254 days to build an automatic habit? 

 

One of my first jobs was working in corporate membership sales at an athletic club.  Like clockwork, February would come around and membership sales would begin to decline.  Wait times for cardio equipment would shorten, the weight room would open up again and the once inspired new gym members would slowly disappear.  It was my first close look at human behavior and the power of habit formation (and lack of).  In my coaching work, I continue to study and learn about building lasting habits.  I’m fascinated by the nuanced complexities of why some people are able to make a habit stick quicker than others. 

 

There are a million studies and books about building habits.  One of my favorites is The Power of Habit, by Charles Duhigg.  In the book, he shares three key elements to forming a lasting habit.  A cue (trigger) that initiates the new habit, a routine to engage in the behavior, and a reward (positive reinforcement) afterward.  While these three key elements are essential to building an automatic habit, they need a thriving ecosystem to survive over the long term.

 

In my experience, there are three components to a thriving ecosystem for a habit to survive.  Context, compassion, and community.  Context is your reason why, a clear and desired outcome that's tied to your personal identity and vision for yourself.  The habit can’t be for someone else or because someone else thinks it’s a good idea.  It needs to be what you want or represent who you want to be.  You’re the one showing up each day to do the hard work!

 

Every thriving ecosystem needs compassion.  Self compassion if you find yourself striving for perfection or beating yourself up because you aren’t getting there fast enough.  There will be starts and stops on the path to forming a new habit.  This is where a defeating all or nothing mindset can show up and kill any momentum.  If you miss a day or two don't throw in the towel!  The research tells us that missing a few days doesn’t mean we aren’t making progress. Consistency trumps perfection every time. Forward is still forward so be kind to yourself on your way there!  

 

Last and most certainly not least is community.  The power of community is witnessing those members at my old gym job sticking to their routine and creating a habit of showing up after they commit to a personal trainer or sign up for that partner 30 day challenge.  Regardless of the habit, when you enlist your tribe to support and stand beside you, you don't have to forge it alone.  You have accountability, someone to celebrate with on your best days and encourage you on your hard ones.  Surrounding yourself with community (or a companion, it can be one person) to support you in building a new habit can be a heck of a lot more fun too.  

So, whether it’s day 23 or 230, stay the course.  You’re building new neural pathways, lasting behavior change takes time.  What’s the state of your ecosystem?  Does your desired new habit have meaningful context?  Are you exercising self compassion?  Who is supporting you along the way?  

 

Over here cheering you on my friend 👏🏻👏🏻! As always, stay open, brave, and on-purpose.